I need your help blog friends. Here at the Davis home we have come upon something that we are stumped in finding an answer to. Many of you know that when I was a little girl I was terrified to be alone. It was quite a debilitating problem. I would loose several hours of sleep a night because I was afraid to close my eyes. I was afraid that someone would come into my house and try to hurt my family. When everyone else had been sleeping for an hour or so I was the only one left awake, so I felt the responsibility to take care of my family in case someone broke in while they were sleeping. It was a miserable time in my life. Being afraid is a horrible feeling but thankfully God took my fears away 6 years ago. Since then, I go to sleep with no fear, Eric at my side or not. I say all that to let you know the pain I feel when my children are afraid. Most of the time when one does complain(which is odd), I will pray with them and we sing awhile and it is all over. But my sweet Mary-Grace is not getting over it. She is truly afraid to go to sleep without me or Eric with her. I have tried everything positive I can think of. Of course she is not in a room alone, Annalee is with her but that just will not do because Annalee falls asleep fast and leaves Mary-Grace to fight the criminals alone should they invade. She is not afraid of monsters or bad guys. She is afraid of some criminal breaking in and hurting us. I don't know specifically where she saw or heard this but she has developed these thoughts somewhere. Of course we try to keep our TV watching safe but even those "home security" commercials give me chills. We do watch some of the "super hero" movies which could have introduced the evil side of people too early for her little mind to understand. A month ago if she was tired she would go to bed all alone with no fear at all but something has happened and she CANNOT sleep alone. Blog Friends, help me! I do not want my baby to suffer as I did all those years. What can we do. We have read verses and prayed God to put a hedge around our home. We have locked and relocked doors and tried staying awake until she fell asleep. Nothing has worked. Should she be discipline for not trusting me? That seems harsh to me. I mean, I hope God doesn't discipline me every time I am afraid and untrusting. We have decided to let consequences happen. She will not be able to spend the night away from home until she can get a handle on this. I tell her that she is going to have to choose to not be afraid and trust in God's protection. Until then, no sleep overs. I want to test her to see just how much of her fear is real and how much is just "a chance to sleep with mama" but I don't want to punish her if she is truly afraid. Give me your ideas, please. And please pray that these evil thoughts would stay out of my baby's mind and that Eric and I will make better choices of what comes into our home through the TV. I look forward to hearing your ideas.
5 comments:
well first of all, i never like an abrupt behavior change-that, to me, is supicious in and of itself. secondly,if you've ascertained that it is just fear i think you should just let her fall asleep in your bed and be done with it til she's through the stage. making a big deal about things seems to make them bigger and last longer. think about it, they're only babies for a short while, though it may seem long. Hind sight will tell you what your heart is already saying. Comfort her and make her feel secure, i wouldn't try to burden her with spiritual growth even we as adults can't always live up to. at this time in her life, you are her comfort. most of the time my babies are in my room. Liberty wants lights on and would get real scared. the littles have been in my room on little pallets for a long time. i just put them in their rooms 2 nights ago (cause i got tired of all the mess in my room-haha) with no problem. Liberty has a little Christmas tree in her room that lights it up just enough to make her feel secure. on nights when one of them can't sleep, i just say, get in my bed and they go right to sleep even if i'm not there yet. even abbey has nights where she gets scared and comes in my room-the boys not so much. anyway, listen to your heart
spanking-no way jose'
and don't foget to investigate to be sure that this is really the problem. xxxooo
that's a hard one Alicia. I've read it's not uncommon for kids to fear intruders. I was afraid too of imaginary things... so I would stack dolls or stuffed animals on both sides of me so I couldn't see anything. Maybe before she goes to sleep you could go around the house and show her that you are checking the windows and doors to make sure they are locked.
That would be a hard one for me, because I love my sleep and get impatient for them to go to bed so I can go to bed!
And Annalee is no help? Bummer, if it were one of mine, I'd have a sibling sleep close by, but sounds like you already have that. Discipline does sound harsh, you can't force her to relax and go to sleep. But you do expect her to obey and listen to you....
I wouldn't want to cater to this and make her needy of this extra attention...so I would tell you to make an effort to fill her love tank every day. Do you have special "MaryGrace" time that you cuddle and listen to just her? I know it's easy to let some of the kids get lost in the crowd. Yes, guard the tv, but it doesn't take much for a child's imagination to run wild. Teach her a song to sing to herself and let her know you are near, but this is something she can get over in time.
And do let us know how this goes. Will this be a passing stage that she quickly goes through and forgets about? Or will Fear be a struggle that she must face over and over again?
Praying for you,
stacey
Thank you all so much. I usually go with my instict so MG has been in the room with me since the post and LOVIN IT. Last night on her own she slept on the bunk with Ellie. We just have stopped talking about it, not made any issues out of it so we will see. I was quick to compare her with me but mama did make a big deal out of me.
good girl-you won't regret it
xxxooo
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