Judson is doing much better. He is still very congested and has a decreased appetite so nursing is not going so well. I know I have "gone off" on my nursing joys before but it's time for another. Eric and my mama ,who both have good intentions, have decided that since nursing is going so poorly right now and that it is probably time to wean him. They say things like "he might just need a bottle, mama!". Well keep in mind that I have tried daily to give him a bottle because he is dehydrated somewhat. He will not take it. He wants me, not some old bottle. He cries and wants to latch on but each time he does he cannot breath and comes off screaming. This cycle last all day. I have been so frustrated. I am loosing my supply with each passing try and he is screaming wanting to nurse and all that is in the way is a bunch of snot! GROSS! I have tried it all to get it out but it is useless. I have tried pumping to keep my milk up, torture! So with all the problems going on maybe you to would be in the crowd of those to say "wean him". But thanks be to God for a mother's love and the bond of nursing. Finally, after 2 days and 13 missed feedings, Judson latched on and stayed there for 1 hour. He was so relaxed and happy. He went right back into the routine of playing with my face and rubbing my neck and arms in total satisfaction. I know it was only 2 days but I was lost with out my nursing baby and I believe he was lost without me. I am not ready to wean him and despite how sick he gets, he is not ready to give up his mama for a substitute. So ,although Eric and my mama love me and Judson with all their being, they are not his mama. But more than that, neither has ever nursed a baby and have no idea what that bond is like.
Now you all don't get in a tizzy and email me about disrespecting my mama and my husband. This is something that we have discussed in all fun and laughs.
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8 comments:
Well...my very own mother told me as we were sitting in a room on Peds at 1 week with jaundice...."it's okay, some mothers just can't breastfeed. She'll be fine with a bottle". I reminded her that I hear family tell our patients that every day and I did not want to hear that from her! I nursed that baby a year and am nursing my 2nd baby still (at 19 months). Oh, the bonds and love you receive from that experience. It goes far beyond just nutritional benefits. And think how much better Judson is WITH getting breastmilk...he could have been even more dehydrated without the little bit he was nursing while he was sick.
it takes a lot of tenacity to be a mom.
I understand. He will probably be your last nursing baby, so it is only natural to want to see it through. I am sure it is hard for your loved ones to see you working so hard(lack of sleep,frustration) to keep things going, they make those suggestions out of love. But,like you said,unless you're the one that has to sustain that child, there is no way to know what the meaning of it is. The Lord has seen you through, He is so good.
I've also been told to give my baby a bottle so I know how you feel! Being at work and having to pump during the day has been hard for me. I look forward to coming each day, grabbing my precious one and heading for the recliner where we nurse together. He's a sweetheart and that's our time together!
I know just what you mean!! You know all the troubles I've had and I've had many people say he might just be better off on hypo-allergenic formula! BLAH! And I'm not sure if you heard the screaming baby yesterday during church (yes, he was that loud!!). I left him with a bottle and he went NUTS! He didn't calm down until I took him out to the car to nurse him!!! I'm so glad that he's nursing well and I'll pray that he continues!
There is a time to give a baby a bottle with some challenges, believe me I've been there with tears not wanting to but knowing that if i didn't my baby would die. But, i have learned that nursing is worth fighting for.
amen to that-my last two may have literally failed to thrive without those 2-3 ounces of formula a day in the first few weeks-the difference between sustaining and growing can be so small. but, i concur, it's worth fighting for whether they are colicky, failing to thrive, in a NICU, pumping, using SNS or whatever, I have never regretted how hard I fought (with the ones I had to fight for)and how hard I had to tune those well-meaning voices out (sometimes even my own). Two instincts fighting each other, knowing when to make concessions-it's not easy to navigate and I don't judge those who do things differently but for me, it's The Law of the Harvest and I knew to much to turn that bottle upside down lock, stock and barrel. Well done Alicia
I just recently went through the same thing, although i haven't "enjoyed" nursing..I KNOW it is whats best for him and me..but I had the stomach virus and was having to drop him while i ran to the toilet! My doctor said that if i nursed I would surely dehydrate (i couldn't even keep one sip of water down!) But it was strange how everyone was like -finally, you have a reason to stop nursing-my mom (though a huge proponent of nursing) said I am SO excited to be able to give him a bottle! And his grandad (Ben's dad) has been against it from day one, not to mention his meme has dropped NUMEROUS hints that she can't wait til he is weaned..Like its not hard enough to nurse, but to have a million discouragers makes it tougher doesn't it? As strange as it seemed b/c i hadn't LOVED nursing like most moms, I was sad that after 3 days of puking and near dehydration myself i could not longer nurse, my milk was gone. It made me sad for him. And once i was better, he DID NOT understand why mommy wouldn't give him "mommy milk"!! He did not want a bottle from me AT ALL! YOu are doing the right thing. Hang in there!
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