To 'V' or not to 'V'....???

 

'V'... You know, the male end of family planning. Well actually it is no longer a question that we are dealing with. It has been done and we can no longer bear children. (Is this something I should be blogging about?) It is a real sad statement when I first had to grasp it but it is even more of a relief. I know to some that sounds offensive, and believe me, a few years (and children) ago it would have offended me. Children are a heritage from the Lord, right? a blessing, right? ABSOLUTELY!!! But somewhere between #5 and #7 life got tougher and my strong convictions got weaker OR I gained a bit of wisdom and became less legalistic. I honestly don't know which has happened. I do know this. I love my children, I love my new baby and can only be so thankful that God blessed us with him. But I do not want to birth anymore children. I am tired. I am ready to raise the ones I have instead of being so tired that I cannot get off the couch. I am ready to run and play with them instead of watching daddy getting to enjoy all the tickle fights while I...sit on the couch. I want to have control over the ones that I have instead of letting them run wild, and care for themselves. When I was pregnant with the first few, everything was sooo exciting...kicks, due dates, sonograms... but with the last few it all has lost its hype. I forgot my due date repeatedly. I was 20 or so weeks when someone ask me if I was feeling him kick. I had to think and say "Oh yeah, I should be feeling that by now", and sure enough in a few seconds...bump there was a kick. What?? that is crazy. Who would've thought that a precious life moving around inside my womb could have been over looked. I never thought it could, but it did. That is when I knew something had to change. Doesn't my precious #7 deserve the same excitement as #1 in the small details. I have always wanted to be the mama who could have a house full and with a smile on my face say "we want more" . I can't because in trying to keep up that "conviction" I am loosing others like child training, family worship, my desire to home school and little things like forgetting to tuck them in at night and tell them I love them.

Our decision did not come easily. Mainly because we had been taught from older women and respected teachers that child bearing is something not to be messed with and fully to be placed in God's hands. I cannot say that we have done the "right" thing. But I also know that to keep adding on to the ones I had didn't seem right either. I still believe that God is sovereign over my child bearing and if I get pregnant I will praise the Lord for working His plan and directing my steps in my life even though I had planned my way. John Piper has an excellent article on his web site about birth control and such. It helped us a lot in making our decision. Take a look at it sometime.

Notice that I have never said that I do not want anymore children. I do!!! Someday. We hope to adopt a couple of children and raise them up to know Christ. It is so exciting to think about the different phases of life that God could have for us.

Now on the up end, I do not want to discourage any of you from desiring or gaining a large family.( Now maybe a little better job of spacing than what we did might help.) It is so rewarding. I have to keep reminding myself that I am in the sowing phase of life now but someday soon I am going to start reaping the fruit of my labor. It is exciting to think of what God could do with my little efforts. Large families are a blessing. Hopefully with this blogspot I can and have encouraged some of you to want a large family. Life is never dull. I do have a heritage growing up here. If you think that by the grace of our sovereign God that you can sow a large field successfully then sow and oh!!what a harvest you will have. But if you think that you can only successfully sow a small field then work hard on that small field and have a fruit filled harvest as well.

Praise God for all these trivial things that bring women like me to cry out to Him for guidance, and what peace I get when I know that the number of children I have is not my sanctification but just another tool God is using to bring me into more of a right relationship with Him. Also, praise God for husbands like Eric who willing and adamantly choose to have the 'V'. Thanks for reading.

Alicia, the happy mama of 7 blessing from our great God!!!